The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
NoShamevember. You game?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
