And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize