Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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