her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
