I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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