I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
