my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
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We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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