I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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