Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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