I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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