He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
