New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
