Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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