sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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