remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
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I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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