i may or may not be watching the land before time
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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