You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
