Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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