They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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