why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
