If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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