If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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