Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize