I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
