I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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