i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
