It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
