you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
