You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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