it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
