Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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