I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
