I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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