This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
