I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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