I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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