went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
