He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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