oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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