Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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