Midget sex pt 2 tonight
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
