i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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