Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
