Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
