Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
