Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
