I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize