DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
