you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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