i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize