there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
