I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
