What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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