Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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