i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
