I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
