Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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