I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
