I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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