I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize