your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
