"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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