I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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