this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
