would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
