dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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