I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
