That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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