can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
